Perfecto (utah, revisited)

Yesterday I realized that I couldn’t rock the white-trash mullet anymore. I strolled the down the block, back to the place I got it cut and had them “fix” it, demanding it was lop-sided, sloppy and not at all what I wanted. He offered to work on it a bit, maybe craft it into something more desirable and stylish, but my mullet phase was over. While rocking the mullet I started seeing people everywhere with them, Like fixies… so I had to ditch it. Plus, I saw a friend who’s mullet was superb and subtle, just the look I was going for, and he sure as heck didn’t pay fifty bucks for it! Now I look exactly like I do in Perfecto..

Anywho, I went back to Utah a couple days before the Perfecto premier. We rallied out to a lesser know sport area called the Hoop, named after Hoop lake which lies a few miles higher in the mountains, which was named after a circle formation in the rock that you can look right through when driving up to the cliff. Despite being only 2 hours driving distance from SLC, the Hoop sees very little traffic. The main cliff is a slightly overhung, pristine blue limestone wall, kind of like Ceuse. But instead of nice, perfect pockets and polished edges, it has nasty little sharp crimps from hell, probably one of the other reasons is isn’t so popular, and there are only half a dozen established routes on the whole cliff, none of them easy. Even the 12a has a crimpy, V7ish boulder problem start. But the View fro the cliff is breath-taking, the approach is a good warm-up, not too long, and the rock is of the highest quality, if not a tad on the sharp end. I somehow managed an on-sight ascent of the classic 13a, Blue, after getting spanked on the bottom of the 12a. The two testpeices of the area are located smack dab in the center of the cliff, Moose Licks and Bong Licks, both 14? Both put up by… drum roll please… that’s right, you guessed it (or maybe you didn’t) Mr. Sharma. As legend has it, he fa’ed both lines in the same weekend, grading both 14a. I know the original, direct line ML has seen ascents by Tommy Caldwell and Eric Decaria, but I’m pretty sure the indirect and maybe harder of the two, Bong Licks, has yet to see a repeat. They are both really crimpy and powerful and very delicate, with heinous small holds and foot holds the whole way until you are safely on the slab. I don’t know if something broke since the last ascent(s), or if Chris, Tommy and Eric were and are really good at that style of climbing, or if it was just too freaken hot… or all of the above, but those routes are HARD! I would say that the one that I tried, Moose Licks felt about as hard as Necessary Evil in the VRG. I went up it about four times (all my skin could handle) in the two days we were there, and made it to the last crux section on my last attempt, but no success. The wind died at 3pm both days we were there, like clockwork, despite it being 45 degrees, rainy and windy the second day. Right at 3, the rain stopped, the sun came out and the temps rose 20 degrees in 20 minutes. So not ideal conditions for the sharpest limestone this side of St. George, but fun none the less. And a learning experience. With bruised finger tips and egos we headed back to SLC, despite the many remaining hours of sunlight.

The next day we hung out around the town and then went hiking (and even tried to boulder a little!) in LCC. That night the premier went off without a hitch at the Tower theater. I suggest you check out the show if you are near San Diego on the 9th, near SF on the 10th, or near boulder on the 16th.

So now I am back at home, staying healthy. Surfing, riding my dad’s rode bike and training like a maniac, or a Euro. The waves have been hit or miss lately, mostly miss since it is summer and Northern Cali is too far north to feel most swell created by storms in the southern hemisphere, but a little has trickled in. Like a true fiend, I awoke at 5 am this morning to catch the better conditions and meet a freind out at Pacifica. After we suited up and started the march down the beach I turned to Karl and spoke these fateful words: well, this could be my last surf for the next couple months. I had only been in the water for about 15 minutes, and was kicking out of my second wave when I absent mindedly jumped off my board and smacked my bottom lip on the board on the way into the water. I came up with a mouthful of blood and salt water and too my horror some of it was leaking out a small hole which had bee ceated right under my bottom lip! I franticly paddled to shore, spitting blood and saliva through the tiny piercing in my bottom lip all the way back to the car. After looking at my ghastly wound in the side view mirror of Natasha’s car I realized it was only about a quarter of a centimeter in diamiter and I wasn’t going to be horribly disfigured, so I relaxed a little. It started to swell a lot in the car on the way to the hospital, which I accidently missed my exit off the freeway for. I was driving like an idiot, talking to an “advice nurse” and alternating holding my hand over my mouth while steering with the other hand. Needless to say, I was driving like a sleep deprived teenager but somehow I made it to the hospital parking lot and to the emergency room, and realized there were people there who were suffering in ways I would (hopefully) never know and I was able to relax a little more. And I only got ot surf for ten minutes. The doctor said she would just forgo the sutures and just glue me shunt. In typical Kaiser fassion, the doctor left me with next to no instructions and sent the nurse in instead who just said to make sure to pick up my perscription of penicillion and take it diligently. Well, it’s almost 11pm and I’m pretty sure I swallowed the glue that was stuck to my lip with dinner. I need sleep!!!

It’s off to SD tomorrow morning for another Perfecto premier, then back to SF for my last appearance. I leave for Alberta on Saturday… very excited to climb at all those areas. Lake Louise, Acephale, Planet X. I’ll try to keep you up-dated!!!

Oh yeah, check out a new(ish) video MC let me steel from MVM premium and show to all of you on the video page.