Front Range in Effect!

So, I… and then I… and finally I… and that’s it! Till next time folks!

Just kidding! Tricked ya didn’t I!?! No? Ok maybe not. But I had to spice it up a little. These blogs can get a little monotonous.

So yeah, for real this time. I climbed in the gym Monday and Tuesday because I didn’t have anyone to go outside climbing with (negative!). It was probably good for me in some way, since I hadn’t climbed on plastic in a couple weeks. But after sitting on my arse in boulder, plastic pulling, I was jonezing for the real stuff, hardcore. So yesterday, I hiked around in dream canyon, gawking at china doll and other beautiful rocks. Unfortunately, there was this naked guy… two other hikers/ novice climbers that I may or may not have accidentally led up a death gully, called the naked guy, “the ever elusive homo”. He didn’t end up being as elusive as I would’ve hoped. I’ll spare you the details, but I’ve heard from “inside” sources, Ahem, Kynan, that upper dream canyon can be a pick-up spot for “the gays”. Not that I’m a homofobe or anything, but I’m kind of hoping we don’t experience this tomorrow while sessioning on China Doll. Might be distracting. Oh yeah, up in the death gully that I opted to take the 5.6 choss solo to get out of, I found a little wall with a few bolted lines on it, one of them sporting this: Don’T worry dude, no one’s going to hike all the way up here for your little chossy project that so obviously avoids the natural weaknesses of the wall! Actually it looked king of fun.

So after my vision quest through Dream Canyon, I met up with Matt Wilder at Castle Rock, a classic area at the top of boulder Canyon. He was nice enough to come up and just give me beta on Deadline and belay me. I tried to flash it, but with most gear routes, I got all flustered placing the gear, messed up the sequence, crossing under instead of over, and hosed myself. I sent the short, bouldery, roof (old-school) testpiece second go. And yeah, I reached down and strapped on a pair… pad, a pad! Sorry Matty, but I actually don’t feel bad. Legend has it that Jerry Moffat came over from England three times to make the FA of Deadline, which was originally thought to be 14+, using the bolts no less! Deadline’s a pretty cool climb, albeit a bit short, but I don’t know if it would be worth all that effort. I don’t know if it’s actually true either, but if it is, I guess that shows how far our sport has progressed in the last 15 years. After climbing I listened to the debates on the radio on the way home. I felt so patriotic that I felt the sudden urge to drive, ramming speed, into the rear bumper one car ahead sporting the McCain/Palin sticker, but I resisted.

Today I woke up earlier than I had all week (7:30) to get an earlier start on the day. I met my partner Nick at his place and we jetted up to the flat irons, and slogged up the 45 minute approach. Our mission: the spectacular Five Year Plan, 13+. Nick had already put in a couple days on the route, so being the mooch/beta theif that I am, I got the full spray down and went for the flash… which I failed about half way up on. The route, unlike most of the other hard trad lines I’ve done lately, is more actual crack moves than face moves, and there is no fixed gear other than a 3/4 inch rusty bolt that you end up skipping because the gear is so good anyway. The route starts off with an easy lieback slab to gain a big chossy ledge, then about 15 more feet of 5.10 face climbing to reach the base of the overhang. The overhanging part of the climb including the crux, involves some akward lie backing to start, to some really wide cupped hand jams, to some secure hand jams, to some finger locks, all up a splitter with no real face holds except for your feet. Then, keeping you foot in the crack (or at least that’s how the tall people do) you throw out to the atete, cut you feet, heel hook the arete, lever off your heel back to the crack and do a final 5.12 section to the anchors. It’s pretty much just a long, sustained boulder problem on which you have to stop and place gear. The crux boulder problem with the arete moves is really cool, and overall I’d say that the climb is on par with the Orangutan Overhang for most fun trad line I’ve done. It ended up taking me 4 tries after I fumbled the beta on the second and third goes, and Nick ended up pumping off the last move after accidentally grabbing a quick draw instead of a cam off his harness to place in the crack. You got it next go though buddy! No worries! Before my send, a wounded pigeon that seemed not to have the use of it’s legs, fell randomly from the sky, through the trees, and landed on the ground, under a boulder, apparently unable to take flight. Since I was considering skipping a somewhat redundant gear placement, we thought it might be a bad omen. But as soon as I left the ground I forgot about the dying pheasant below me, skipped the piece, and felt casual the whole way through. Nick’s response: well, if you would’ve fallen and broken both you legs, I would have written about it for Climbing.

Kelly Slater for president!