injured reserve

Fuck. Double fuck. Fuck infinity, and beyond!!! By now most of you who know me personally (or are friends with me on facebook) probably know that my shoulder is in shambles. I won’t know exactly what’s wrong with it, and whats steps need to be taken to heal it until I do to the doctor, get an MRI and get a proper diagnosis. All I know right now is that I can barley move my arm above the height of my shoulder without severe pain.

I know I shouldn’t say this, or even think this right now, because a) my sponsors will probably drop me like 3rd period french (JK, I hope), b) I don’t even know what’s really wrong yet, and c) people say one’s thinking can effect the way you heal your body…. but right now I feel as if my climbing career is over! Yeah, I had a good run- climbed some difficult and beautiful rocks, placed well in a few comps, and got to see the world, or at a few wonderful places, but right now I feel like Mickey Rorke in the wrestler, after his heart attack, and I’m not even trying to be dramatic just for the sake of it. But I can’t lie, it’s just how I feel right now! Demolalized! But who knows. I could wake tomorrow morning (assuming I can actually go to sleep) and crank out 15 one-arms, but more than likely my shoulder will still hurt like hell and I’ll still be really bummed. What’s done is done, so there is no point in saying, or even thinking I could or should have done or not done anything differently. All I can do now is hope it’s something that can heal without surgery and be optimistic… at least I can still type! Actually typing makes it sore too;(

The weekend was going well prevuous to the explosion of my shoulder… even though I was kinda bummed I wasn’t feeling stronger, I was still having a good time and getting to catch up with old friends. I placed 8th in the quallies, behind some really strong kids. It’s crazy how strong the kids are these days. I think there were probably only two guys in the finals who were older than I am. In my mind I keep reliving the moments leading up to the demise of my shoulder… I’m not really trying to, the memories just keep flooding back. The best way I can describe what happened on the second move of men’s final #2 was that I extended my arm to do this huge campus/dyno rose move and as soon as my left shoulder took the first bit of my body weight, it went snap, crackle, pop, like a rice krispy. I knew it was OVER for me. My shoulder was filled with white hot pain, and so was my head. Even thouh I wasn’t in all that much pain, I was in shock from realizing the gravity of what I had just done… so ironic that I just announced a new sponsor, planned a five month trip oversees, and got really psyched up to start training and going outside again! I’m gonna call up my doctor and make an appointment for tomorow, assuming I can get one then, and go get an MRI as soon as I can. I’ll try to keep everyone posted.