Subject line: The New Version
Ethan-
Nice work. You have once again flown in the face of chisel toting Euros and delivered a dose of humiliation–American style. Actually, that would be more like bursting a real estate bubble through bad credit default swaps or bombing brown people, but whatever. Now onward! Next please. Now serving number 2 to at window number 1. Did you manage to send “that thing” you bolted, or are you planning on doing the second ascent? Ouch. Didn’t mean that. Hugs.
I saw by flickr that you went to a WC event. eh? eH? EH? Did you contemplate swapping La Cornetta for a year of El Campo de Ninja in Europe? “When you can snatch the T-Nut from my hand…” etc, etc. Looked pretty cool from the vid. Stupid human tricks but perhaps not as stupid as the human tricks put on display in Virginia. It pretty much looked like a cross between Donkey Kong Jr and upside down Q-Bert.
Hows the shoulder? Who are you climbing with these days? Have you found a Hot-Euro-Pro-Climber-Babe to travel around with? Have you considered a Chateau or Hacienda and a Dog named after “The Fonz” ‘s little bro? Not sure how you would say that name in French though. Maybe Richie would be preferable. Whatever. I never did like Happy Days. In any case, you’d have nothing left to do at that point but knit yourself a tam and crush.
I, on the other hand, have chronic low back pain, two annular pulley partial ruptures, and find myself in the peculiar spot of getting paid to drive wet homeless people around SF–in June. Whine whine whine. I am still able to climb, but my schedule prohibits much other than the gym. Did I ever tell you how much I LOVE the gym. The red route. The black route. The black AND red route. Wow. It fucking RULES! You go to this pinch, and then to this little Climb It edge, and then toss to the fucking shit pile fucking garbage fucking slow death. Fuck outside. I remember that I did manage all the moves on the new line at Pinnacles. 8b I think. We will see. I pried a few giant (30+lb) dirt clods off of it. Actually, It cleaned up fairly well. Its 36 meters long if you can believe it. 17 bolts, 13 put up on lead. 5 days of effort thus far just in bolting and cleaning. Argh. Hopefully we will have it ready for the fall when I am likely to be too injured to sit upright and/or feed myself, let alone climb.
Let me know how you are. Stop falling off of stuff.
Thanks for making us laugh so hard we cried and couldn’t choke breaths of air for five mins afterward. Thanks friend. We’re in Rocklands, SA for the next seven weeks, BTW.
was that poetry? was confusing to read